Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
