I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
