I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
