dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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