I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
