I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
