Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
