i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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