a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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