I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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