You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
