just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
