i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Say something about gay babies.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
