I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We’re leaving where are you
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