just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
