i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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