omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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