I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
They have beer where we have blood.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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