i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
where am i from again
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
