...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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