i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
