Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
