You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
