Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
