The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
