I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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