We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
