We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
