today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
This is my gift to your gina
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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