Someone shit on the floor
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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