I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
