I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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