I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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