My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
this is an emotional support booty call
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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