when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I touched a dick in church today
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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