eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
