The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
