Christians are straight up FREAKS
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
