but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I want her autograph on my taint
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
