i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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