I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
