evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
