It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
last night I used snow as a chaser
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
