Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
