6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
BRING THE BAGELS
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
