is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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