She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
