And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
