but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
