Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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