i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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