This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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