your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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