someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
